GYPSIES, PIMPS, HOS,
AND THIEVES
Bice> Hot Jogging Action
GersonL> Man, Little Richard really let himself go
Bice> The really low budget Jack Nicholson
Ironf> That clearly was a picture from 20 years ago. I totally believe that.
Ironf> Was this before or after issac landed the spot on Love Boat?
GersonL> Do you like music? You're gonna love these guys!
Bice> Sunroofs of the 70s
MrBooze> A black police officer? In the 70s?
Ironf> These are actually subdued for a 70's wardrobe
Bice> We need the Beaver's mom to translate this jive for us.
Bice> Suddenly the film switches to black and white.
GersonL> Dear lord, close all the hailing frequencies
Ironf> So, giant spandex bellbottoms
Bice> Shove it up your ______ Wallet? Mattress? You decide.
GersonL> You know, that outfit makes starfleet uniforms look almost respectable
Bice> Is he trying to be undercover by casually reading porn?
Bice> So *that's* what the sunroof is for.
Bice> I'll have to try that.
Ironf> WOW you can really tell that Gator is a pimp
Ironf> ummm a shopping cart of do-nuts?
GersonL> A baby carriage full of bagels? Bizzare.
Bice> The 70s, when a full-on collision only put a dent in your car.
Ironf> It's Motor City Demo-Derby
GersonL> But he hit him with his rear, so the other guy's insurance'll pay
Bice> Hey, he ran a stop sign. Where's that cop when you need him?
Bice> He lept and rolled from a movie car, but didn't lose his pimp hat. Must be superglued on there.
Ironf> and the pimpmobile dies a horrible death
GersonL> Here at 3M, we process saltwater and pimps for a better tommorow
GersonL> Meahwhile, in Doom
Bice> I like the extra echo on the waka-chicka for that underground effect.
Ironf> That's gotta sting, the pimp stealing your car
GersonL> He can't really be a pimp if he'd drive that car
Bice> I like the generic squeeling tire sound effects.
Ironf> especially when the cars are on dirt
Bice> Just stand still while I get this chair to hit you with...
Bice> Hi-Keeba!
GersonL> And remeber angry mob, attack them one at a time!
Bice> He just killed the lady who lives upstairs.
GersonL> wow, this movie has taken a very ugly turn
Bice> Looks like he picked the wrong week to deliver booze.
Bice> Oh god, they've dragged Scatman Cruthers into this.
Ironf> The Scatman Cometh
GersonL> Dunkin Donuts is runninga special on Scatman Crueller's this week
* dungarees slaps GersonK for the Cruellers comment.
Bice> The dialog has moved up to a range that only dogs can hear.
Ironf> Wowsa, he must be tough to hold the guy with one hand, and with that angle too
Bice> Pick up that ___ ____ ____ telephone you dumb ____ _____.
GersonL> That is one sweaty pimp
GersonL> He's gonna make sweet love to her down by the fire!
Bice> Really saves on the movie's budget if your star can also do the soundtrack.
Bice> Makes Issac sort of the Blaxploitation Elvis.
GersonL> That's his pussy. 'cept it acts like a d... oh never mind
GersonL> Nobody gets a bigger crowd at their funeral than a pimp
Bice> I love the hooker funeral clothes.
MrBooze> Diamond-studded eyepatch?
MrBooze> Why are they sprinkling him with allspice?
Bice> This scene cut from Dr. Detroit.
GersonL> It's the pimpfather
GersonL> Chunky Whore? IS that with nuts or without?
GersonL> It's Pimpdex 78, the biggest trade show in the industry
Balthayzr> This is the goofiest version of Gone With The Wind I've ever seen.
Balthayzr> Black Sampson........'s brothers chiropractor.
Balthayzr> Bucket of Blood? Blockbuster's got it fer rent for 99 cents!
MrBooze> 20K? THat's it?
MrBooze> They could make more than that working the cashier at Long's.
Balthayzr> The group around the table looks like the tryouts for Mortal Kombat 5.
GersonL> This was the 70's, a dime used to be worth like, 12 cents back then
dungarees> She's just not as cool as Big Momma.
dungarees> Was this turtle-neck really necessary?
Bice> This is just ruining my image of Uhura.
Balthayzr> Hey, the boss from Homicide's working undercover!
MrBooze> The fan dance in ST5 didn't ruin it already, Bice?
Bice> Oh, I forgot about that MrBooze. Actually, "expelled it from my memory" would be more acurate. But you're right.
dungarees> Somewhere Jonathan and Jennifer Hart are in danger.
* Balthayzr checks the needle on his TV, to see if he can't stop the dialogue from skipping.
GersonL> Pay your electirc bill or the Con Ed hitmen will get you
Bice> Shirtless middle aged white guys - this just gets better and better.
Balthayzr> Ah, the '70's, when guns made a sound you could hear from 7 time zones away.
GersonL> He's dressed like Sherlock Holmes
Balthayzr> Stay off the Moors!!!
GersonL> So, hoes get medical these days?
Balthayzr> No dental, though.
dungarees> He's got a double dose of pussy.
Balthayzr> Guest starring: Morris.
Bice> This movie hates milk!
GersonL> 'cuz it's white Bice
Ironf> This movie would have been over long ago is they had just sighted thier guns before going after him.
Balthayzr> Oh, yea, that shooter will blend right into any crowd...
MrBooze> He's making a roof angel!
Ironf> not a railing, repeat, not a railing
Bice> Gotta like a movie with dancing hookers.
Balthayzr> Nice to see turner's hoe farm has a step-arobics class.
dungarees> Hush, now don't tell momma, shush now, don't tell momma.
Balthayzr> You better______ before I _________ and then he __________ all over your __________!!!!!
dungarees> She has National Geographic breasts.
MrBooze> Your'e out of your BLANK mind. Charles Nelson Reilly?
Balthayzr> I'm gonna say Fraggin', MrBooze.
GersonL> Booze - I said "Booty grabbing"
dungarees> I see he borrowed shaft's white man's flesh colored turtleneck.
Balthayzr> Am I to gather that black people in the 70's wore lots of plaid?
Balthayzr> We deliver your boy in 30 minutes or it's free!
dungarees> Yafet IS Ruffles the clown.
Balthayzr> What's with all the booze? he rooming with Mitchell?
Bice> The beers on the night table are bringing back unpleasent memories of Mitchell.
Balthayzr> All-Star Grimacing!!
Balthayzr> What the.....they shoot him with a stinger missile?
Ironf> Now THAT'S a sucking chest wound
Plumm> Boy, the 227 teneants association didn't much care for Lionel's proposal.
Balthayzr> But, his shirt will make a nice Piccaso....
Bice> David Crosby goes bad.
Balthayzr> Nice that he color-coordinates his shirts and eye patches.
Bice> Eyepatch guy looks a bit like Micheal Palin in bad makeup..
Balthayzr> Hallways. Your signpost to Quality Entertainment.
GersonL> Balth - he's a pimp. He's nothing if he doesn't dress smooth
dungarees> He's Horatio Nelson in an alternate sliders universe where he never bagged Lady Hamilton
Plumm> His aquarium-soled Shoes are coordinated too.
Ironf> along with the fish inside
Balthayzr> From the makers of Blacula comes.....Black Mummy!!!
Ironf> Blacula, Blackenstein, and the Black Mummy. The trio of terror straight from Harlem.
Plumm> Dorf on hospital security.
Bice> Low budget Al Pacino.
GersonL> This scene'd be better if they'd miked Isaac
Ironf> No budget Al Pacino
Balthayzr> Hang in there, baby, friday's coming!
Bice> I *knew* that cat was gonna get hung.
Balthayzr> So, blasting all their friends - no reaction. hang the cat - scream and run for your life.
Plumm> Outlet stores of the oooooold blaxploitation.
Ironf> Is he shoplifting again
Balthayzr> Someone call Security! Somehow, black people got in our store!!
GersonL> This was the inspiration for the department store scene in foxy Brown
Ironf> Red neck security?
Balthayzr> The wacki-chika music in this film is decidedly sub-par.
Ironf> We have gained a power by traveling beyond your solar system
Balthayzr> Soundtrack by Random Piano Key Hitters, Inc.
GersonL> It's not random at all, it's the same two keys over and over again
Plumm> Crosby was lain under siege at Ruby Ridge.
Bice> I was just about to say 'at least it's a rare waka-chicka free moment', but then...
Plumm> Funny thing is, the only snow on this mountain is in Crosby's cabin!
GersonL> Hey, the waka-chicka's the best part
Plumm> Thank you! I'll be here all week!
Bice> Easy as shooting pimps in a barrel.
Balthayzr> It's the new Trucker Doom patch! Play Trucker in the quiet of your own home!
Bice> yeah, that's real hair.
Plumm> Dave Barry, intern.
Balthayzr> Chad Everret?
Balthayzr> "I have to go pose for the new Ken Doll, now."
Plumm> You're elcted.... you're . . . the . . star . . today!
Bice> Standard issue hospital handgun.
Balthayzr> The hospital food sucks. I'd advise you go hunt your own.
Plumm> G's kicking ass.
Balthayzr> Hospital Squad! In Color!!
GersonL> G always kicks ass
GersonL> Cover me, ringo
Bice> Ringo Starr's evil twin.
GersonL> Is he stopping to deliver a baby?
Plumm> G's got Chucky!
Balthayzr> Raising Arizona II.
Plumm> Gunplay Bugaloo.
GersonL> Just knock a guy out of a whellchair for no reason. thank you movie.
Balthayzr> The hospital has wacka-chika Muzak?
Bice> Oh, they're playing paintball
Ironf> It is the 70's Balth
Plumm> It doubles as a porn studio, Balth.
GersonL> They killed G! You bastards!
Balthayzr> Bad character actor! Down! Down, I say!!
Ironf> umm sound?
GersonL> He's gonna fall over and wake up in the village
Bice> Are they blanking out a steady stream of obsenities here?
Balthayzr> And the license plate says......Rosebud.
Bice> This is surreal.
Balthayzr> Cameraman's tripping out.
Plumm> No, Bice, it's just poorly lit.
GersonL> Umm, when did he stand up?
Bice> Just die already!
GersonL> Oh, that's gonna stain the upholstery
Plumm> Kotto, ODed on the spaghettios.
Bice> All that just so he could fall on the horn.
GersonL> You know, Domino should have warned him about that
Balthayzr> Yea, this movie has a similar effect on me, except a different fluid is coming out of my mouth.
Plumm> That's the exact same sound she made when she sang in Star Trek V.
Balthayzr> Varriors Unite?
Plumm> Mr. Varrior, come out and play-ay-ay!?
Balthayzr> Yes, nothing says I Love You quite like a frame for Retail theft.
GersonL> Buildings! Here on Progress Island!
Balthayzr> The truck turner March!!
Balthayzr> So, what did we learn?
Plumm> I completely should not have ditched my friends for this HG.
Bice> Now why wasn't this movie on the list of "100 Greatest Films of all time"?
Balthayzr> I learned Uhura has had no appreciable career once trek died.
Bice> I learned what Issac Hayes looks like (before tonight I had only ever heard him)
GersonL> Now, you see, unlike QT, the director of this film knew enough to make the pointless driving scenes come during the credits, not right before
Ironf> I learned that BET is very inconsistent in their censoring of words.
Plumm> For anyone who didn;'t know, learn now that Hayes is a scientologist.
Bice> I learned that I'm too damn tired to stay up any later. 'night all.
Balthayzr> American International. Nuff Said.
Plumm> He's groving on a Hubbard high these days.
GersonL> I learned that Yaphet Kotto can be convinced to ennunciate. almost.
Balthayzr> Yaphet Kotto IS Mumbles in Black Tracy!!
